How to Read Body Language: Part One

There are two ways you can use body language to enhance your face-to-face interactions: by observing the body language of the person you’re speaking to and by controlling your own body language. Understanding what others are telling you through their nonverbal communication and taking control of the signals you are sending has the potential to improve your ability to communicate. Your body’s actions and responses actually do speak louder than words.

It’s all a matter of knowing what to look for. Positive nonverbal communication is usually quite reliable as an indicator of the way a person feels unless gestures become exaggerated. Exaggerated communication suggests a negative response. Negative nonverbal actions are less reliable. Actions that are most often construed as negative may simply reflect comfort level, energy level or personal distraction. Do not jump to conclusions if you observe what you think is negative body language. Here are some things to look for when you are communicating with someone:

Relaxed Posture. There are probably no major barriers to communication if the person you are talking with appears comfortable and is breathing naturally. If their body is tense, their motions choppy, their hands clasped in front of them, or they have turned their palms face down on the table in front of them, there may be cause for concern.

Body Language. A person who is relaxed and open generally keeps their arms, legs, and feet uncrossed. Keeping one’s jacket open is also a sign of openness -- and honesty. Crossing one’s arms is often a sign of defensiveness, and if it is done in conjunction with leaning back, it may convey superiority or smugness. If it’s done in the context of an established relationship, it may simply be a relaxed gesture. Leaning forward demonstrates interest and involvement.

Eye Contact: Direct eye contact is generally expected in western cultures. It demonstrates the person you are talking with is interested in you and what you have to say. It builds trust and strengthens the bond with the person you are communicating with. When we are talking with someone we generally maintain eye contact for about one-third of the time, looking away from time to time. To look at someone less suggests you are bored or have something to hide. It may convey a lack of interest which makes the speaker feel uncomfortable. Looking at someone for longer periods of time may intimidate them or, conversely, demonstrate enthusiasm and caring. It depends on what other nonverbal communication accompanies the prolonged eye contact. #nonverbal #nonverbalcommunication #bodylanguage

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How to Read Body Language: The Definitive List

Here are some lists of nonverbal cues that tend to substantiate one another. The presence of multiple signs generally leads to reliable conclusions or confirmation of what you perceive.

Agreement 

• Inhaling fully 

• Rocking one’s body 

• Shifting weight forward or upward

Boredom? 

• Closing eyes 

• Falling posture 

• Turning away from you

Confusion 

• Asymmetrical position 

• Blinking eyes 

• Facing downward 

• Fidgeting 

• Furrowed brows 

• Random Movements 

• Rubbing of eyes 

• Shifting in one’s seat 

• Shuffling feet 

• Wandering eyes

Defensiveness? 

• Clenching teeth or hands 

• Crossing arms or legs 

• Pointing legs toward exit 

• Placing hands on hips 

• Turning upper body away

Dishonesty? 

• Covering mouth with hand 

• Touching nose

Dominance?

• Expanding gestures 

• Spreading arms and legs 

• Standing with toes out

Impatience? 

• Bouncing knee crossed over leg 

• Crossing legs 

• Tapping Feet 

• Rapping fingers on one hand against table

Interest? 

• Leaning head and/or body forward and blinking 

• Raising eyebrows inquiringly 

• Smiling

Questioning honesty? 

• Clenching teeth 

• Furrowing brows 

• Looking downward 

• Grimacing 

• Compressing lips in a thin line 

• Squinting

Rapport? 

• Aligning shoulders 

• Establishing increased eye contact 

• Leaning in

Resentment? 

• Crossing arms 

• Grimacing 

• Looking away 

• Stiffening of body

Submissiveness? 

• Crouching 

• Hugging themselves 

• Reaching up to touch their throats 

• Standing, toes pointed inward

Nonverbal clues are just that -- clues. No one exhibits every classic symptom. Sometimes people have taken charge of their nonverbal communication and don’t show any marked indications you might expect. But most often, like the actors who portray emotions, people you communicate with will provide some nonverbal messages that reveal what they are feeling. Just look. #nonverbal #nonverbalcommunication #bodylanguage

Flirting with becoming a film angel? Let me know and I’ll keep you in the loop with future developments about Bernhardt on Broadway, the movie musical I’m producing about Sarah Bernhardt. 😊 #musicals #moviemusicals #musicalfilms #musicalfeaturefilms

How to Write a Powerful Resume

Your resume is an opportunity to meaningfully differentiate yourself from the competition. Speak with your own voice. Share what you do along with the associated benefits. Let the reader know you’re special and why. Avoid corporate jargon. And don’t use over-worked meaningless phrases like ‘results-oriented.’ Develop several resumes that are job-specific to apply for different kinds of positions.

State Your Objective at the Onset. Modify it when applying for different jobs to increase your chances of being considered. Each company needs to know there is a good fit.

Use Original Creative Language. Let your voice shine through. This is a positive way to differentiate yourself from other applicants. Use strong verbs and powerful descriptions when describing what you have accomplished. If you have great communication skills, make sure they shine throughout your cover letter and resume.

Be Specific. Vague general language is meaningless and wastes the reader’s time. It also makes you sound like every other applicant. That’s not a good strategy for getting an interview or landing the job.

Be Concise. State your ideas succinctly. If you are relatively new in the workforce, you should have no trouble keeping your resume to one page. If your experience and credentials are more extensive you’ll need more space but should still make a concerted effort to edit appropriately so your resume does not become unwieldy. Shoot for two pages.

Share Your Accomplishments. If you deliver 110 percent on the job, say so and let the reader know the impact. Provide work history, education and training. Then highlight relevant skills and achievements. Now is not the time to be modest. Make sure your prospective employer knows the value you bring and why you will be an asset to the company.

Create a Visually Attractive Design. Your resume should be clean and simple with significant white space. Choose one font and stay with it. Use variations of that font for different purposes. Use bullet points when appropriate. And print your resume and cover letter on high quality paper. It helps make a positive first impression.

Include a Cover Letter. This is your opportunity to offer compelling reasons for why the reader should consider you. Focus on your most outstanding attributes. Be original and use a conversational tone. Close with a request for an interview. Nothing beats face-to-face communication for establishing rapport and advancing your cause.

Be Sure to Proofread. Bad grammar, typos and misspelled words are very telling. If you can’t manage to get these things right with your resume, what can the reader expect when you’re on the job? #resume #resumewriting #curriculumvitae

Flirting with becoming a film angel? Let me know and I’ll keep you in the loop with future developments about Bernhardt on Broadway, the movie musical I’m producing about Sarah Bernhardt. 😊 #musicals #moviemusicals #musicalfilms #musicalfeaturefilms

How to Build Sales Through Active Listening

Be the most effective salesperson you can be by having a customer focus. How do you cultivate a customer focus? By listening, interpreting, evaluating, and understanding your customers’ wants and needs. It’s only after listening and internalizing your customers’ goals that you can respond appropriately.

Ask good questions and then listen carefully to the responses. Be sure to observe nonverbal communication, too, including tone, pitch, intonation and energy level. Note body language to truly understand what your customers are trying to tell you. Being an active listener does not minimize your need to be clear, concise and persuasive. It simply improves your ability to perform those tasks to the best of your ability. Astute listening skills arm you with the tools you need to respond appropriately and be more successful.

Establish conversations where there is interaction between you and your customers. Ask open-ended questions. Listen to the responses. Respond by letting them know how you interpreted what they said to make sure you didn’t misunderstand. Listen again and then ask another question that will help you address their wants. You’ll not only get the information you need but also establish a relationship with customers that has the potential to bring in future business.

Customers appreciate it when you listen attentively. They want you to focus on them -- tune in to their special needs. You can let them know you are listening by nodding from time to time or with brief spoken responses. If there is something you don’t understand, don’t act as though you do. Ask for clarification.

Don’t let your mind drift or look around to see what else in going on in your store or office. Don’t worry about what you will say next. That will happen naturally by responding to what the customer has to say. Work on solving customer problems and becoming the ultimate resource person for subsequent ones.

The best salespeople don’t sell products or services. They solve their customers’ problems. By asking open-ended questions you can sometimes uncover issues the customer wasn’t aware of and avert a problem before it occurs. That makes you a hero -- a ‘go to’ person who can be relied on to not only solve but also avoid problems. When you listen actively, you position yourself to identify and address customer needs productively and profitably. That’s the stuff great salespeople are made of. And it all happens because you are a good listener. #listening #interpersonalcommunication

Check out my book, Louder Than Thunder, a parable about listening for all ages. I have copies available.

Flirting with becoming a film angel? Let me know and I’ll keep you in the loop with future developments about Bernhardt on Broadway, the movie musical I’m producing about Sarah Bernhardt. 😊 #musicals #moviemusicals #musicalfilms #musicalfeaturefilms

How to Become the ‘Go To’ Person in Your Industry (Part 2)

The Clock is ticking. Are there key people you'd like to meet? Make a point of meeting them. Arrange for a mutual friend or business associate to introduce you. Attend a function at which they're speaking and go up to talk with them when their address is over. Call them to make appointments. Don't wait for opportunity. Make it.

People You Know. Don’t overlook the people with whom you already have relationships. Make your contacts and resources available to people you already know and work with. They are likely to reciprocate.

Use PR To Your Advantage. PR or public relations is similar to advertising. Both get you exposure. Advertising is often hard sell. PR is always soft sell. Advertising costs money. PR is free. If you have a story you believe others would like to know about, contact the media. The media gets its stories because people just like you call them.

Become A Sponsor. Consider sponsoring an event or getting your business to do it. Donate a site for a charitable function. Pay for shirts for the local little league team. Contribute favors for a charitable event. This is one more way to gain respect and get your name out there.

Only You. Set yourself apart from the rest of the crowd. Create a unique identity for yourself. Have a logo and/or slogan that attracts people and makes them think of you. Free gifts? Letters of thanks? Offer something extra that meaningfully differentiates you.

Reputation. Reputation. Reputation. Develop a reputation for high quality and reasonable prices, honesty, and respect. Cultivate qualities in yourself that you value in others. Give your customers and clients a reason to refer their friends.

Find A Happy Medium. Some folks specialize. Some folks don't. Find yourself a niche but don't make it too narrow. That's how to have your cake and eat it, too. Don't expect to make these changes overnight! Take one step at a time. You'll be surprised how quickly you can get where you want to go and become others ‘go to’ person in the process.

Flirting with becoming a film angel? Let me know and I’ll keep you in the loop with future developments about Bernhardt on Broadway, the movie musical I’m producing about Sarah Bernhardt. 😊 #musicals #moviemusicals #musicalfilms #musicalfeaturefilms

How to Become the ‘Go To’ Person in Your Industry

All of us are in sales. That's because we all have to sell ourselves to achieve success. There are a multitude of ways to jump start your efforts. Start out by choosing several of the suggestions below. As you develop more confidence, try some of the others. In the process, you can develop a reputation that has others flocking you way.

Get Involved. Your involvement in the community is an opportunity to help others while you help yourself. Try working for the charity of your choice or for your favorite political party. Join and participate. When you participate, you make new contacts. Those contacts may lead you to places you are only dreaming about now.

Attend Functions. Do you belong to trade associations? Join them and attend their events. Make a point of meeting the speaker as well as other important people in your industry. As you get better known, you may want to chair events. This means more work but it also means higher visibility.

Improve Yourself. Be all that you can be. Make an effort to learn something new every day. Read. Keep up with current events. Attend seminars and take classes to keep up with changes in the workplace. Others will recognize your dynamic approach to life. You'll be someone they want to know, someone they want to work with, someone they ‘go to’ when they are ready to buy.

Attend Leads Breakfasts. There are numerous organizations that put on events where non-competing entrepreneurs can wheel and deal with one another. Investigate which ones are in your area and make a point of attending them to see what they are like. If the setting appeals to you, join the group that sponsors the meeting. It will pay off.

Form A Local Business Network. If you see a need for a networking situation that has been overlooked, consider starting one yourself. Choose a time and place. Then invite people who might benefit to attend. The atmosphere should be noncompetitive to facilitate open communication and referrals. #networking #powernetworking

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Flirting with becoming a film angel? Let me know and I’ll keep you in the loop with future developments about Bernhardt on Broadway, the movie musical I’m producing about Sarah Bernhardt. 😊 #musicals #moviemusicals #musicalfilms #musicalfeaturefilms

How to Become a Power Networker: Fifth of Six Parts

After the party is over is when the real work begins. Networking is not just about warm smiles, pressing flesh, and having fun. It’s about establishing symbiotic relationships. You can’t establish relationships if you don’t take the next step.

Follow up and follow through. After you meet someone, follow-up with an email or handwritten note. If you have ever received a handwritten note, you know how terrific it feels. It makes a lasting impression. Writing thank-you notes is an art that has gone by the wayside in the era of sloppily constructed e-mail and fast food lunch. Be sure to write thank you notes to those who go out of their way to help you. It takes so little time and is really appreciated by the receiver.

Receive a referral? Send a thank-you note or send a gift. Tell someone you are going to call or e-mail them? Don’t let time get away from you. Do it right away. Stay in touch with old friends and new acquaintances to build relationships through which you can help others and reap benefits yourself. Making an initial contact means nothing if you don’t move ahead to establish a relationship that is mutually beneficial.

Behave in ways that are consistent with networking ethics. Treat others the way you like to be treated. Be open-minded. Keep promises. Never make anyone feel small when they ask for or receive help from you. Give to others without counting the times. Thank others warmly when they help you. When you make a habit of smiling and extending a helping hand, you’ll always feel good about yourself and be spreading a great deal of joy.

Maintain a networking database. Your list of contacts should be filled with a record for each person you know. If you make notes after meetings while your memory is still fresh you can include all sorts of helpful information in the record which will be a boon to refer to in the future. Set aside some time every week to maintain regular contact with people. Keep yourself uppermost in their mind. They may have opportunities to send business your way.

Leverage networking by volunteering. Volunteering is a great way to meet people. If you are struggling with shyness, volunteer to help with registration or other meeting tasks. It gives you a built in reason to talk with others. Consider volunteering for charitable or philanthropic causes that are close to your heart. Support them in your community by working on committees and volunteering for events. Chances are good you will find yourself on a nonprofit board in no time. Not only will you be making a difference, you will be catapulting yourself to a new level of networking that has the potential to open doors and drive business. #networking #powernetworking

Flirting with becoming a film angel? Let me know and I’ll keep you in the loop with future developments about Bernhardt on Broadway, the movie musical I’m producing. 😊 #musicals #moviemusicals #musicalfilms #musicalfeaturefilms