How to Read Body Language: Part Four

Using Body Language Effectively Always be as aware of a person’s body language as you are of the words they speak. When you first meet someone, it’s not unusual for them to appear nervous or reserved. This makes sense. After all, they don’t know you and don’t know what to expect. If you have perfected your nonverbal communication, you will most likely be able to set them at ease. As a result they will tend to display more open body language.

If someone responds positively to you, you know you are on the right track. If you sense a negative reaction, you should change gears and modify the direction you are headed in. Try to figure out what the problem is to determine how to proceed. Try asking open-ended questions to increase involvement. Focus on the other person’s interests. Figure out something you have in common to establish increased rapport before moving ahead.

Being an Effective Listener Lean forward slightly. If you lean backward the other person may be confused. Are you comfortable or distracted? Are you simply relaxed or are you being disrespectful?

Pay attention to your posture. It speaks volumes. Don’t slump. It’s unattractive and riddled with negative nonverbal cues. If you are seated, sit up straight and leave your arms and legs uncrossed. If you are standing, don’t lean against walls or doors as if you cannot support yourself. Refrain from constantly shifting your body weight from one foot to the other. It’s distracting.

Be attentive and try not to fidget. Don't finger your jewelry, hair, clothing, or anything in your pockets. It suggests boredom and impatience with the speaker or the topic. Either way, it is unattractive.

Maintain good eye contact. It says you are paying attention. It says you are interested. It says you want to be there. Avoid staring, however. It will only make others uncomfortable.

Be aware of what you are doing with your arms and hands. If you fold your arms in front of you others may interpret this to mean you are unreceptive. Resting your clasped hands in your lap suggests you are critical of what is being said. Can’t you just picture someone doing this with pursed lips?

Nod your head from time to time. It lets others know that you are actively listening. #nonverbal #nonverbalcommunication #bodylanguage

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